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☾ the name's destiny. 22. writer • poet • music enthusiast. creative writing major @ SFSU. these poems & small pieces of prose are all first drafts.

my

✖ "I write only because there is a voice inside of me that will not be still." - Sylvia Plath

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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100514 (1:21AM)

i resigned
from this role
a long time ago

please
tell me why
are you still leaving
messages on my phone?

100514 (1:07AM)
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go."
Hermann Hesse (via wordsnquotes)

So many friendships have gone wrong for me for whatever reasons (lack of time, growing distance, growing older, stupid arguments), but I’m finally realizing that I shouldn’t feel like I’ve lost pieces of my puzzle called life— I shall just cherish what I’ve learned from each person and keep moving forward.
tags: /personal

ashy gray knees
the inability to burn
underneath
the cloak of the sun
Indian summer

that autumn tiger
that meows, mewls and scratches
at the door
begging to be let in

shunned by

whispers,
heads looking
the other way
denying eye contact
fulfilling mountainous
lies
400 years old
 
the impending doom
of snow falling
creating a world of ivory
with just muddy footprints

if the world was mud
would we still walk upon it?

100214 (1:02AM)

You connect. You thought it was an impossible feat. But somehow even though you’re a fuck up, you’ve been talking to her for a good five minutes without saying something like “Let’s fuck” or “You’re my kind of lady.” But it’s progressing, escalating; you’re thinking with the prick between your legs and not your Oxford taught brain. Fuck Oxford and fuck the Oxford comma. In your mind you’re running, sweating and dying to have her name run across your tongue and out of your mouth. The letters drop to the floor in riddles and ridiculousness. You start talking about the weather like a retarded five year old talking to his mommy. “Oh, the sun was hot. The air was thick. The fog was great" you say, dragging out the grrrrrrrrrr like a bear, or Tony the Tiger. You bite your tongue with as much force before you make it bleed— a droplet of blood spills out and you swallow it. Metallic. You realize you don’t deserve chrome rims, all you get is metallic bullshit. She stares at you with those fuck me eyes covered in cat eye black eyeliner. Those fuck me pumps, those fuck my tits, those fuck fuck fuck me everything. Your mouth’s on the floor slurping up the spilled martinis that sloshed themselves onto the floor to avoid going down the esophagi of esoteric 2-bit people and your own spit. She’s staring at you with pursed red lips, her tongue floating gently over the dry, cracked tears on the skin. She covers her mouth with her hand and her eyes crinkle into smiles. Maybe she’s ignoring the tension roaring within you. Maybe she’s oblivious to it all. And maybe, just maybe, she likes you regardless.

091914 (5:24PM)

(Source: lavie-imprevu)

091714 (7:30PM)

I sometimes drown
in my own consciousness

seas of self doubt
spread further apart
by winds of self-loathing

I’m not buoyant
I’m sinking
yellow, blue & white
water wings
can’t save me
from this trip

091714 (7:29PM)

Where’s your alignment?
You’re bent out of shape.
You’re meant to be
a straight rod of metal,
not a fucking disgrace.

you— your grammar
you’re a nazi!
their knack for killing people
& things— it’s over there
in your knapsack—
they’re waiting for you
your “friends”
on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter
the ding ring ring the buzz tweet tweet
coming from your sophisticated
wifi enabled 4g brick
they perpetuate your killing of grammar

what the fuck is a bae anyways?
#yolo #thuglife #icanhashtaganythingandmakeitsoundcoolbuticantreachmy140characterlimit
(this stanza is 118 minus this note)

can we please stop
with this clusterfucking
of the english language?

091714 (10:43AM)

I am so sick of people going back on their word.

tags: /personal

I didn’t know who I was becoming. I did everything Liza told me to do because she had a perky ass, shiny hair and a voice that just oozed authority every time she spoke, but I didn’t know why I listened to her. I carried her abnormal psychology and literature books, read her creative writing homework aloud for sentence clarity, Googled places for her to eat lunch on the weekends and a bunch of other asinine shit she could have done herself.

            There were always the moments where I tried to remember that I was my own person. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t an extension of her. I would think, I can just walk away and never see her again. But she’d look at me in the midst of a study session. She’d be sitting with her back against her bed and I’d be sprawled out on the carpet with five opened books and a highlighter cap hanging out of my mouth as I chewed it to stay focused. When I wasn’t looking, she’d reach her hand out and tuck my hair behind my ear while flashing me a champion smile. Her fingers grazed my cheek and I felt the electricity coming from her hand. Her energy seemed to flow into me and as the corners of her mouth turned into a smile I almost didn’t mind being her lackey.

            She had a sense of power that wasn’t visible, but it made me lose who I was by being near the force of it. It made me wonder, are you still yourself when you focus all of your energy on someone else?

091614 (12:48AM)

dumbledorathexplora:

チミン

091514 (11:43PM)

Despite wanting to clean out my draft folder a few months ago and complete all the first drafts of the poems/short stories in there, the number went from under 200 to 336. I need to be a finisher as well as a starter.