I think about all the posts I’ve written about being appreciative of specific people coming back into my life, and yet all they’ve done is (re)abandon the friendship because of something minor. I simply cannot wrap my mind around why the heck friendship is so difficult and hard and why people aren’t completely understanding; we constantly repeat that we are to people and it ends up being a statement of what we hope to be, not stationed in reality. I think I should hold off on proclaiming my admiration of such people in the future because I just end up pretty disgusted at myself for trusting them in the first place. Reminder to self: don’t jump the gun when being reintroduced to people because they most likely have the same bad habits that ended the friendship in the first place.
I don’t like how some of my closest friends / the most awesome people I’ve ever met in my life (thus far) LIVE SO EFFIN FAR AWAY FROM ME.
COME BACK ALL OF YOU AND LET’S HAVE A PARTY FOR AWESOME PEOPLE.
fuck ‘friends’ who backstab you, suddenly stop talking to you for no reason/shit that people say which isn’t true, or ‘friends’ who take advantage of you and only ask you for help on an exam, what you got on this test and shit. Or rather, maybe it’s time to not trust anyone anymore. So much for believing in friendships in college.
I’m only realizing now that I need to change my life. I need to change my mentality and the people who I stick around who constantly bring my life down. I’m better than this and I deserve more in my life then people who I don’t even really think are my real true friends or people who, in general, don’t really seem to have respect for me. I give you my respect and I don’t receive anything in return. I’m tired of it. I told someone that either people stay in your life because they’ll continuously teach you something about life or they’ll leave because the lesson they’ve given you is complete… but when all certain people teach me is that I cannot trust them and that I’m tired of doing the same boring shit over and over and that I’m changing as a person when people want things to stay the same… it’s time to let go. I’ve realized that it’s easier to let go and be free than I initially thought it was.
Summer 2011 will be about running around town and fucking shit up with people who actually care about me and will be down for anything and everything.